


Little Trunks Big Embarrassment (or Vegeta's Last Laugh)

by BurnedVamp



Category: Dragon Ball
Genre: Crack Fic, Dilbert Reference, Easter, F/M, Humor, Implosion, Purple Dinosaur, Swearing, cartoon violence
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-11-03 23:09:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,693
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10977327
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BurnedVamp/pseuds/BurnedVamp
Summary: They put the 'war' in 'Prank War' and no holiday is sacred.





	Little Trunks Big Embarrassment (or Vegeta's Last Laugh)

Vegeta stalked angrily into his warm and loving (in its own way) home with every intention on finding his beloved heir and throttling his teeth clean from his head, then smashing them into bits so not even the tooth fairy could distinguish them from the dirt on the ground.

Yes, another loving day in the Briefs household.

"BRAAAAAAAAATTTTTTTT!"

Alas, the brat was already at his little friend's house, clear across the continent. Still, he heard his father's irate bellow and even at five years old, wasn't stupid enough to respond. Not after what he had done to begin with.

"Vegeta, what the hell are you yelling about now?" his beautiful and admiring wife asked of him.

"Your son-"

"YOUR son."

"YOUR SON," by now the veins on his forehead had reached a licensed practitioner nurse's ultimate nightmare high, and was threatening to burst forth its life sustaining fluid. Even yet, he was interrupted.

"Darling!" he growled at the pet name, "you look tense." Not that she really cared, but it was very funny to see him in such ire.

And yet, when he grabbed the front of her shirt and brought her to within an inch of his gnashing teeth, she STILL had the audacity to giggle at him. "Where... is... YOUR... son?"

She smiled at her warm husband. "My dear, our delightful chibi is right now... occupied. Tell me, love of my life, whatever has he done now. And does it have anything to with that loud explosion I heard out in the garden?"

Vegeta's right eye quirked four times its normal size, while a well placed flashback relived his experience, yet explained nothing to his-

"Vegeta! Answer me!"

-patient wife.

~~~VEGETA'S LIFE ALTERING FLASHBACK~~~

Stepping confidently, yet bored, into the newly constructed garden gravity chamber, Vegeta began his stretches immediately under normal gravity. A light warm up, before he approached the central command panel to increase it to 500x normal gravity for still more light warm ups. That was, rather his intent.

"You have entered an invalid command, daddy," the computer politely informed him. "You WERE supposed to take me to see Barney Live again. But you didn't, and now you shall PAY!" The happy sounds of his son's laughter filled his ears as he was instantaneously crushed to the floor.

"KAMI FUCKING DAMMIT, BOY!"

"I thought you would have forgotten, and I'm telling mom you used those words. Please remain attached to the floor as this gentle reminder serves you well to not forget your promise again."

He risked a glance at the control panel to see the ever increasing gravity reach well into the thousands. A moment later, something so awful, so terrifying, so unbelievable defiled his precious gravity room.

"I love you..."

Kakarotto filled his chamber. EVERYWHERE.

"You love me..."

Singing and dancing with that idiotic purple monstrosity.

"We're a happy family..."

It was scenes from Trunks' fifth birthday party.

"With a great big hug and a kiss from me to you..."

He was going to kill the brat.

"Won't you say you love me, too?"

And the brat's mother as well.

This was his last thought as the previously mentioned ever increasing gravity finally caused the giant machine to implode on itself.

~~~END OF VEGETA'S TRAUMATIC EVENT~~~

"Vegeta!"

He snapped out of his reverie and shook her once, not overly forcefully, before warning, "if you ever bring another camera into this house, I will blast it to Porunga!" He dropped his beautiful and bewildered braniac and stomped from the room. He had much planning to see to.

~~A WEEK LATER~~

Must... revenge... self... must... torture... boy

"Vegeta! Just WHAT is going on in your head nowadays!? You've NEVER let anything interfere with our sexcapades before! And for the last week mMMmfmffFFF!"

Must... shut... up... wife...

"Hey, mom? WOAH NELLIE! WHERE'S A CAMERA!?"

"Trunks! Get out of our room!"

Trunks narrowly dodged the rather large ki beam aimed at his poor little body. "But I've got to tell you something! It's important!"

Vegeta growled warningly at his woman who looked torn. From the safety of the other side of the wall, Trunks' sing~songy voice proclaimed out in a triumphant tone, "it's for schoo~ool!"

Bulma sighed and stood, grabbing a dressing robe to leave to talk to her young one.

Must... stop... fist... of... death!

Vegeta growled and threw on some spandex pants, to eavesdrop on his unsuspecting, happy family. "Please, mom, oh PUHLEASE?" first reached his ears. Followed by, "has Goten been teaching you the Male Son Puppy Eyes*tm again?"

"Can you resist them?"

"Yes."

"Damn, Goten! He said they were infallible!"

"He probably meant 'inflatable.' And watch your language!"

"PLEASE, MOM! I'll... I'll... hold my breath!"

"That would be a welcoming change. Think you can hold it till you pass out?"

"Gosh, mom, you're mean."

"And mean people just AREN'T good easter bunnies, sorry."

"But I already said you'd do it! And Mr. Katchanookie would be very disappointed if you didn't..."

Why the hell is her body temperature going up?

"He... would?"

Why the hell is her voice squeaking?

"Yup and dad is eavesdropping on us right now, and if you don't do it, I'll tell him what he said about your bu-!"

"I would LOVE to play the easter bunny for you in your play!"

Why the hell is she growling?

"Pleasure doing business with ya, mom."

Everything was quiet for a moment. "You can come out now, Vegeta. Trunks is gone."

What the hell is a 'buh,' woman doesn't have a 'buh!'

Still in his confused thoughts, he stepped from his hiding place, glaring at his wife, that had just brushed past him, and three moments later, passed him again, fully clothed.

"Why the hell can't you dress that fast for the monster truck rallies!?"

"Gee let me think... Anyway I'm going shopping, I need to find a bunny costume for Trunks' play tomorrow."

"Shopping is more important than truck rallies?"

"Little brat neglected to tell me about this earlier, so he could guilt me into saying yes. Be back soon, darling!"

SLAM!

He glared at the door. "What's a buh? And why is this Kutchunackie saying things about it."

Alas, the door did not reveal its secrets. Which is why it was promptly blown to smithereens.

Heh, that was fun. Must... plot... revenge... Hmmm... maybe stalking the woman will help me think of something. And stalk her he did, and in her most intimate changing moments, you know, for trial sizing, did he at once think up a perfectly awfully wonderful plan.

I'm gonna get the bo~oy! I'm gonna get the bo~oy!

And thus leaving her, headed towards the nearest Fredricks of Hollywood.

~~THE NEXT DAY~~

"Okay, mom! Knock 'em dead!" And thus, young Trunks ran off to join his hundreds of classmates and their parents to watch the production.

"'Knock 'em dead?' I have one line! What are you so happy about?"

Vegeta's grin threatened to tear his face in two. "Am I happy?"

"Yeah... stop it. It's too scary for words." When his grin broadened even further, she shuddered and ran off to find Mr. Katchanookie.

"Mr. Katchanookie! Where should I change?"

"Please, Miss... Briefs," he savored the word, "call me 'Mr. K.' And follow me."

He led her to a tiny closet, in which she had to brush against him to squeeze into. The look of complete and utter pleasure that crossed his face went unnoticed by her. "It's dark in here! I can't see!"

"You said all you had to do was slip into the costume and put the ears and boots on. By the way, your bunny nose and whiskers are adorable!"

"Thank you, all right, I'll be out in a minute."

"I'll be," he shuddered, "expecting... you."

_Hell, it's even darker with the door closed, kami dammit! Let's see, open box. Hey, this costume feels a lot lighter than it did yesterday. Well that's definitely the tail, there's the legs. Ugh! It's tighter too! I'll kill Vegeta for not telling me I was getting fatter! Do these boots have heels? I didn't notice that! Where's my ears? Oh there! Finished!_

"Miss... Briefs... when you are finished please run directly onto the stage, the play can't start with out your opening line!"

The door slammed open, Mr. K got one very VERY good look before his eyes rolled back into his head and he fainted.

"Well, gee," she said to the near corpse, "I didn't exactly have a lot of time to look around, but I didn't think it was THAT bad!" She huffed over to the stage and waited for her cue, ignoring the odd looks from the backstage hands. The curtain was open and when the manager looked up at her and dropped his clipboard, she took that to be her cue. Hopping onto the stage exuberantly, which was difficult in those heels, she spread her limbs wide, and yelled, "Happy Easter, Everybody!"

Chaos ensued, and in the middle was a cackling Vegeta, and an innocent chibi Son cheering wildly, a Son mom covering an innocent Son son's eyes, and a young alien princeling who had melted into his seat, beat red, and highly, HIGHLY embarassed.

Bulma, bewildered by her performance looked down and screamed. "VEGETA! YOU ARE SO DEAD!"

It wasn't at all that the form fitting black leotard and stocking combined suit wasn't flattering, or that the black high heeled boots were unmanageable, oh no! Not that at all... But she was VERY, VERY certain that she had purchased an 'Easter Bunny' costume and NOT a 'PlayBoy Bunny' outfit.

"You realize, of course, DAD, that this means I'm going to have to change schools again," the adorable chibi prince told his high and mighty father when he sensed his approach. "AND that mom is going to make you sleep on the couch for a very long time?"

When that thought made its way to his minuscule brain, his right eye immediately took up the familiar position of four times its normal size, and the word 'couch' reverberated within the extra space in his otherwise barely occupied head.

Oops.

THE END


End file.
